new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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