Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
