i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Life without a bra equals bliss.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
