I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i just sent this text using only my big toe
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
