I'm sorry my penis didn't work
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
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