I murdered the dance floor call the cops
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
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