Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
