There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
