The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
