why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
