how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
