i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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