She's JV to your varsity
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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