You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
