i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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