I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
