So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
