Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so that wasnt chicken after all
Don't make out with my wife yet
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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