Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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