Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize