we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
