you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
