Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
