Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
