i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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