why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
