Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
