Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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