i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
