i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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