At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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