Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
