Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
