i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
