its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
