At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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