I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
