Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
