absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The best revenge is premature balding
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
