im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
