put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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