I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
