I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
