yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
