we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize