they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I intend to get homeless drunk
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
