Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
