This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
