If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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