Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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