Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
