At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
