I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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