Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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