so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
