ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
