i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
did i walk over a car last night?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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