i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
