she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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