THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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