Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
