They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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